Gratitude

I used to teach Sunday School, and I went to church regularly. I was 16 years old and everyone in my family had pretty much stopped attending church except for me. My church, in hindsight, was pretty liberal. When I moved to Utah, I just didn't find the same thing. Then I started to question the existence of God.

I don't really want to go into that right now, but while I have decided you don't need church or God to have morals, there is still something missing. When I witness everyday miracles, I no longer feel the magic of a higher power. I thought that was because I don't have that kind of faith anymore, that I knew that science can explain most things better than religion can. But now, I believe, it is because I have forgotten about gratitude.
Saying grace before a meal, or giving thanks to God is how I used to express my gratitude. Do I need God to be grateful? I don't think so. I have just forgotten how to be grateful because I am out of the kind of practice going to a "real" church used to give me. So, I will experiment by trying, every day, to be grateful for things. It doesn't matter that I don't know if I ought to be thanking God, or just the randommess of the universe. I can be grateful.

I will start by being grateful to technology. It is often the bane of my existence, and sometimes I just want to delete my Facebook page. But then, an old dear friend comes through Salt Lake and calls me because she knows I live here, and we have a fabulous time thinking about old times and catching up and she is still as awesome as I remember! I even get to show her around this awesome city. So having a gazillion friends means many are, at the moment, superficial relationships, but they are all people I would be thrilled to see again someday.

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

Author Unknown

30's Vanity

I had a lot of good old posts in my MySpace blog. One was called "Twenty-Something Mistakes" in which I soothed myself for the many mistakes of my early and mid-twenties by explaining that in our culture, that is what the 20's are for...experimenting, and learning a few things our parents could't get across to us, the hard way. Now I am 30. At my birthday party, with the guidance of other friends who had already passed this milestone, I realized my 30's were going to be great. I could take with me the good things from my 20's: the lessons learned, the positive relationships I had worked so hard on, a wonderful husband who is also my best friend, and a bachelor's degree that was hard-earned.
Looking back on my 20's, I wouldn't change a thing. They were a good time, while I was there, and even the most painful events eventually made me the person I am that gets to live this life today. But I would never go back. Looking back, I see the good times, but imagingin myself there I remember how hard it was. Running out of money to take classes. West facing brick apartment with crappy windows and a terrible air-conditioner. One full time and one part time job while going to school in the summer. The most severe and insane colds every winter for years plus developing allergies and asthma. Spaghetti almost every day, because I didn't have time to learn to cook anything new, but at least it wasn't Top Ramen. Crappy roomates. Even crappier boyfriends. How does one get through all that and come out the other side? Not without a little baggage.
So symbolically, I said goodbye to all things 20 that sucked and imagined packing a suitcase of all things 20 I wanted to bring into my 30's. My degree and my husband, of course. My cat, who has seen me through most of those terrible 20's. Friends who stuck by me through good times and bad and long distances. My best friend Meghan. My family, mostly happy, and overall more together than ever before.
Evetually, I tossed the lab career and took a huge cut in pay and hours to be a special education assistant, but that is for another day. Yea, 30's! I welcome you.

Dog Trial!

On Friday, Gabe and I went to the West Valley petsmart for the NMHP adoption event to meet Rex, a dog we had been thinking about adopting since just before our condo sold in December. Rex was so sweet, wasn't even scared of Gabe despite his known anxieties toward new people especially men, and in general, won our affections. We took him home for a trial adoption, after being told that he had been in a foster home with cats and would probably be OK with them.
Things went OK, overall, this last weekend. Among Rex's great qualities are:
-crate trained, sleeps quietly at night even in the other room
-rarely barks
-rarely jumps
-a good jogger
-totally cute and affectionate
-well trained, knows basic commands and follows them
-general desire to please
However, Rex has a few challenges:
-stranger and strange dog aggression
-possible cat aggression, or maybe just Chester aggression.
See, Rex and Chester just never hit it off. And I know that in a few weeks or months, that could all go away. But I have a friend whose cat was killed by hew new dog...I know it is rare, but it does happen. Chester has a few dog friends, but they are the sort of dogs who when Chester hisses and scratches, they turn tail and ignore him. Within a day or two, Chester is sniffing the newcomer at his own pace and getting comfortable. His best dog friend, Otto, is even permitted to lick him.
But Rex, well, he snapped at Chester the first time Chester tried to defend himself against his advances. The second time, I thought maybe they worked it out, he sort of came upon a hissing Chester and was suprised and ran away. But when we wanted to see exactly what was happening between them, and, holding Rex while he sniffed at Chester, well, Chester hissed and pawed and Rex got angry, not scared. I feel like this situation could turn into a terrible one where I end up with no pets rather than just one. So, Rex goes back to the shelter today. A wonderful, smart, pleasing dog who needs a little work with his anxiety (totally do-able, we had 3 guests for dinner yesterday and he was really great when we had taken the necessary precautions to keep him from feeling threatened) but I would suggest no cats.

New Digs

We are moving!

Gabe likes the urban life, and I need at least a few trees. This is what we ended up with. The house is amazing, completely done over inside. The neighborhood I heard is friendly, with everyone knowing pretty much everyone else. We can see ourselves entertaining our friends here, hosting family and friends from out of town, with plenty of space. Gabe can walk to work. It is the perfect combination of aesthetic beauty and fuunctionality; it satisfies both of us. Chester I think will also be happy with new spaces, more square footage, and a flight of stairs to the finished attic "triangle room" to run up and down. If we had to, we could live here forever, but if we ever had to sell it, I don't think we would struggle much to find a buyer, given a few years.

Bonus...I was the agent on both transactions, which was a huge savings. The only cost was the added stress to my existence (which was, in selling the condo at least, much higher than some transactions). I will be able to reap the rewards as soon as we move in, with plenty of space for the both of us plus our welcomed guests, and this spring, square foot gardening, a dog, and someday perhaps a couple of chickens!